Making Mud Pies

As a kid I made mud pies. And then I grew up, went to college, moved to a big city, and forgot about the dirt. I studied theological anthropology in a metropolis; I studied about how humans are dirt people. Though I knew it was true, it was easy to forget. After all, civilization is marked by Starbucks, Barnes and Noble, and MacDonald’s. Humans may be from the dirt and headed back to it, but in a city, we tend to forget such things. It can be easy to forget that from compost we came and to compost we shall return.

About a month ago, Esther and I moved to South Carolina, and over the course of the past few weeks we have found ourselves pruning trees, trimming shrubbery, and reorganizing flowerbeds. It’s been really great. After living in Los Angeles for a while, it feels humanizing to work on the land and in the dirt. It’s material. It’s meditative. It takes time; it takes patience: one limb at a time, one flower bud at a time. 

Countless times I have heard the pros and cons of social media. More often I have heard it disparaged by people who use it and by people who refuse to use it. It may very well be the case that it alienates us from one another, though of course it can be a really productive way to stay in contact when other forms of communication would otherwise prove too difficult for some reason or another. Social media is convenient, and I rather like it.

However, the meditative practice of pruning, trimming, and gardening has caused me to think yet again about the role of technology in my life. How does technology reshape the theological narrative of my life in connection to others? It may well be the case that it only encourages the addiction to immediacy; however, MacDonald’s has been doing that for a while; we have been primed for impatience and immediacy for quite some time, and this has influenced the way in which we engage others; it also can shape our expectations in relationships, especially if a person doesn’t respond to our post within an hour. Facebook and Twitter didn’t do that to us over night.

I’m wondering if gardening, rather than just refraining from social media, would be a productive way to cultivate healthier relationships in general. It may be that because we have grown so distant from the dirt we have subsequently grown rather distant from each other.

I’m not climbing onto a soapbox. I like living in a city, and I rather like social media. But it has felt right to work on the land and in the dirt. It has felt good to work with my hands and not to just do somersaults on Facebook or in my brain. It has felt human; it has felt theological. And it has reminded me yet again that mud pies aren’t just for kids. 

Why the Future Isn’t a Lost Cause

Our lodging for the conference

This week Esther and I spent several days in Montreat North Carolina at a Presbyterian small church conference. It was basically a youth camp for pastors. We stayed in what appeared to us to be a stone castle on the side of a mountain overlooking Lake Susan. Our first evening we sang hymns along with about two hundred Presbyterian leaders and pastors, and after singing hymns, we listened to a sermon given by a Ghanaian Presbyterian pastor currently holding a professorship at Columbia Seminary. His booming voice filled every corner of the conference hall. I don’t need hearing aids, and though many of the wise people around me may have been slightly hard of hearing, I doubt that a single ear in the room failed to hear the words of the sermon that night. His passionate call to gather and feed disciples was awe-inspiring.

During the following days we had the opportunity to glean insights from many lay leaders and ordained pastors. I spent some time talking with a novelist and pastor of a small membership church; he reflected on and explained the process he has endured writing nearly thirteen novels, and he said that unless it is burning inside you, unless it is trying to tear its way out of you, it probably isn’t very good. Esther and I met a Bible instructor who just so happens to have a Korean exchange student staying with his family for the year. Throughout the course of the three days, we also had the opportunity to attend three seminars. For the third seminar, we planned to attend a study on clergy health by Duke University; we entered what was a packed classroom. In fact we had to bring in extra chairs for the very back; however, once the speaker began, we realized that we had attended the wrong seminar. The rooms had been switched. We had actually attended a seminar on prayer. What followed was a beautiful and immensely edifying reflection on prayer that overflowed from the speaker’s own deeply personal spirituality. Esther and I were happy and thankful that God had drawn us “accidently” to the wrong seminar.

Inside that Montreat castle, Esther and I were surrounded by wisdom, humor, experience, and the love of Christ.

We met many other wonderful and insightful people, and in fact on our second morning the plenary speaker reflected on some of the cultural changes of the past fifty years and the consequences for church ministry. He recounted the “shift” from modernism to postmodernism – how many times have we heard people speak of such things? He was a compelling storyteller, though much of his cultural commentary was hardly innovative. However, more significant to me than his words was that everyone was so captivated by what he was saying. Why would that be so significant to me?

The institutional church is of little interest and is hardly attractive to many people my age, not least because in our eyes it has lost its credibility for more than one or two reasons. The older generations know this. It is no small piece of irony then that I am being ordained in and by the institutional church. In any case, the plenary speaker of the second morning challenged those present to rethink ministry and to learn the language of a new day. He used ample humor to ease the bullet, but even still I imagine if I were told that my ways are ineffective and need to be replaced with completely different approaches I would be a bit perturbed. But that is not the response to his words that I witnessed. Those present seemed to hang with excited anticipation on his every word.

The future of the church is not a lost cause. Why? Because many people my age (myself included) long for an authentic existence, which in my estimation involves bounds of faith everyday at least tacitly. And because the living generations that have come before us are not disinterested in us. Rather they want to connect with us, but for the most part they do not know our language; they don’t know where to start – it’s like a few weeks ago I realized that I am an old geezer when I asked one of my nephews if he was “having fun” (what sort of question is that when he is playing a video game?!).

The language and categories and liturgies of those generations before us are largely alien to us. And this is what everyone was so interested in. As the speaker of the second day described without holding back some well-placed humor, many people my age are speaking a different language. For example, we have not forgone the importance of “truth”; rather we are speaking about truth differently, with different categories as it were. Consequently, presenting “the gospel” in the same dusty, worn out ways that institutional churches have been for the past three hundred years will be less than useless and will at best be a lost cause. But. That everyone there was so transfixed by what the speaker was saying about the changing culture and the consequences for the life of the church indicates to me that the future is not a lost cause. The generations that have come before us are in fact interested, but they aren’t particularly sure what to do. And so they are doing what we would all do in their situation; they are doing what they know. But they appear ready to put their ears to the ground so to speak and hear what is coming, though in their case "what is coming" is already in their midst.

The future is not a lost cause, but both sides, younger and older will need to be open to each other. Easier said than done. We young folks look at the grey and balding heads, and we shake our heads because we naively think they are clueless. They look at us and suppose we have lost our map and compass. Collaboration will take a lot of willingness and effort on both sides. And as difficult as this may be, I was greatly encouraged when I witnessed and encountered the older generation’s interest in my generation. This interest is important because I and the rest of my generation need to be discipled. 

The older generations need to learn our language, and we need to cultivate patience. We need to cultivate patience that we might delve into the rich heritage of faith that has come before us. We younger people who suppose our advances in technology and tolerance set us above those who have come before us need to cultivate patience that we might glean from the immense treasure set before us. If we so disregard the older generations and the riches they have to offer us, it will indeed be as though pearls have been cast before swine.

The future is not a lost cause, but it will take sincere effort and patience on our part. Rather than fleeing tradition as though it is a thoroughly pernicious system of tyrannical authority, embracing it as ourselves without relinquishing any of the things that are in fact essential to us can be a path way not only toward collaboration between generations but also toward greater visible unity in the church universal, something that should be the business of every Christian.

What I saw with my eyes and heard with my ears this week at the conference was not a dead or dying church. It was a church with a future because it is a church that still rests its future with the future of Jesus. And with him there is always hope, even for generations that appear to be like oil and water. 

Suffering and the Presence of God

I remember when the phone range and my mom answered it. It was the doctor. There was silence. She hung up and walked into the living room. I remember standing, waiting for an explanation. She told us that she had been diagnosed with cancer. It felt like the world had imploded, but strangely it hadn’t. It felt like life had ended, but strangely we woke up the next morning the same as before. When my mom was diagnosed with cancer, I felt like my world had come crashing down, perhaps analogous to what many people felt on 9/11. For many long and excruciating weeks, my mom endured chemotherapy. I remember sometimes going with her to treatments and sitting with her on the bed. I didn’t have much to say, and there wasn’t much I could do. Most of the time, I just sat there with her.

I shall not build a theodicy. That is for someone else to do. But I will say that if a theodicy begins and ends “on paper,” then it isn’t a theodicy at all. Formulas, theorems, and syllogisms do no service for a mother who loses her daughter or for a son who loses his father or for a wife who loses her husband.

In The Sickness Unto Death, Kierkegaard sheds light on what may be a potentially redeeming quality of suffering. He says, “When life begins to quake, then it is immediately apparent that despair was what was lying beneath” (Penguin Classic, 74-75). It seems then that tragedy can potentially serve as a trigger to realize one’s despair and one’s need for deliverance. However, these words would seem cold and insensitive to anyone who is enduring tragedy and suffering.

Years later, my mom said that during those long weeks and months of cancer and chemotherapy she experienced a closer presence of God than she had ever before. She said, “I felt sorry for everyone else who had to be bustling about.” God was present with her in the midst of her cancer.

When it comes to dwelling in the presence of God, lying in bed with cancer is rather different than vogues in Christian circles that blur the boundaries of entertainment and the holy. I’m not suggesting we adopt a sort of Christian asceticism. But perhaps when it comes to dwelling in the presence of God, we are a bit off kilter and even upside down. Perhaps, we have forgotten to take off our shoes and childish desires. Instead, we have “satisfied” ourselves with sugarcoated experiences. It seems that we often associate God’s presence with health and surplus, and we play hot potato with suffering. It’s little surprise then that we in America don’t know what to do or say about the presence of God in the midst of suffering. But the testimonies of many around the world, including my mom, ought to teach us that God is present with those who are suffering, and perhaps they recognize God’s presence better than we who are “bustling about.”

A Place for Fiction in Faith

I remember a particular day in college when a fellow student told me I should spend less time reading novels and more time reading the bible. I responded with a smile and a few lines of admiration for his fervor, but what I said to him was miles apart from what I was thinking. There were many things I wanted to say to him, but probably most of all I wanted to know why many Christians find no room for fiction in faith.

For many folks in Christian circles, fiction is something of entertainment and is thereby of lesser value than a Christian devotional book or the latest spiritual book by so and so (take your pick who the author is). That fiction is often put to some lower level of importance is sad and ridiculous. Look at the best stories ever told. They are all fiction (see the parables of Jesus for example).

Before considering fiction and the bible, I shall consider novels and devotional books because it seems that Christians nowadays read devotional/spiritual books about as much as anything, maybe even more than the bible itself.

I need only to survey briefly a few personal favorites to point out that the latest devotional/spiritual books do not stand a chance. The Brothers Karamazov shows more vividly the ramifications of depravity, doubt, forgiveness, and love than any contemporary devotional book. A Tale of Two Cities does more to indicate the harsh disparity between rich and poor than the myriads of contemporary Christian books on generosity. War and Peace possesses more than any spiritual book pertaining to the existential predicament and journey of humans. The Lord of the Rings does more to show the realization of hope and despair than any devotional book ever conceived. I am laughing at myself for even comparing these novels to some of the devotional/spiritual books I have come across.

Many Christian folks are quick to pick up a devotional/spiritual book instead of the bible. To these folks I want to say, “Pick up A Tale of Two Cities or Crime and Punishment or Anna Karenina instead.” In response some may say, “But a devotional gives me what I need right now and it’s easier to read and it’s more accessible.” To that I might say, “First, how do you know what you need right now? Second, the struggle of reading a thick book is part of what makes the process fulfilling and edifying; it’s an opportunity to build qualities such as patience, something we Christians in America need to acquire.”

I am treading on dangerous ground here. I am not saying the reading of a novel should replace daily devotions, i.e. prayer and bible reading. However, I am suggesting that a good novel may be a much-needed substitute for a devotional/spiritual book.

It might be pointed out that devotional books are functioning differently than these novels that I have mentioned. I will not mount an entire argument here, but I will remark briefly. Devotionals may seem initially different than some of these novels, but in the final analysis these novels will likely serve to shape a person in similar though in even more profound ways than an average devotional book. That brings me to my next point.

But why read these novels of mere “entertainment” when I could be reading the bible?

Permit me a tangent. I remember when in college a few of us were debating about the importance or unimportance of philosophy, which involves a dash of irony. Our opponents contended that philosophy is not practical. To that I decided to turn their rationale on its head; I responded that philosophy is the most practical of all disciplines, for we use philosophy more than any other discipline, be it implicitly or explicitly. Of course, I was being a bit facetious but not entirely, for even they were making use of philosophical argumentation (though shabbily) as they argued against us.

When it comes to reading fiction, I think it is similar to what I argued in college about the practicality of philosophy. By reading fiction, our imagination and our sense for literary drama, beauty, and narrative structure are formed. This is crucial for reading the bible. We can use the fruits of reading fiction in our reading of the bible.

To this some might say, “Perhaps, but reading the bible makes me a better reader of the bible.” I might respond, “Perhaps, but wait just a minute. Reading the bible with all the verse markings, annotations, and personal baggage from Sunday school and years worth of sermons makes many of us susceptible to reading the bible on rigid railroad tracks, incapable of seeing the many unexplored dimensions of a given biblical text.” Developing as a reader and more specifically developing as a reader of the bible seems to require that our reading involve stories from outside that may form us as readers.

I’m finding that even now I am learning to read. I said this to my older sister in Albania, and she laughed because it is rather funny that I am still learning to read at the age of twenty-four. I suppose I am a slow learner. However, I am learning that by reading fiction I am developing as a reader.

So my first point pertains to content. There are many good novels out there that are simply more worthwhile than the vast majority of devotional/spiritual books out there. My second point pertains to we the readers. Reading a healthy diet of fiction exercises our imagination, perception, mental agility, and ability to read a story well. The fruits of reading good fiction may then be put to use when reading and discussing the bible. But keep in mind that fiction is to be enjoyed not just used as a tool.

A few novel suggestions:

The Movie Goer by Percy

A Tale of Two Cities by Dickens

Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky

Moby Dick by Melville

The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoevsky

Anna Karenina by Tolstoy

The Lord of the Rings by Tolkien

Do not be daunted by the length of these novels. Think of the length of a novel as the size of a treasure chest. The longer the novel, the more room there is for gold.

A Religious Spirituality

In one form or another, people seem hungry, thirsty for something, perhaps an encounter with something/someone perceived as transcendent. People often call this dimension of their lives “spiritual,” and in order to sate this aspect of their existence people search tirelessly for special experiences that they might deem those special experiences “spiritual.” These special experiences seem to be a mystery and a curiosity and an obsession in American churches.

My generation in particular seems to have grown disillusioned with institutional religion and seems to be on a hunt for something, something, something to supplant that tyrant called Christian religion, that empty institution of unspiritual routines. My generation speaks of authenticity and organic relationships and spirituality. We have grown sick of the clownish charades in majestic church buildings.

All this may be well and good, and indeed majestic buildings are unworthy substitutes for the sublimity of God’s presence. But with such words as “authenticity” and “organic,” have we paved roads for sloth and lethargy? We seem to believe that we have supplanted institutional religion for something more real. We seem to believe that we have found what we were looking for. We seem to believe that by rejecting institutional religion we have found the treasure of authentic spirituality. But are we a mob of individualistic milk drinkers believing ourselves to have grown up via so-called authentic experiences? Have we merely put sugar in our milk?

It would seem that we in this adolescent generation would do well to learn habits, granted we might be too lackadaisical for such things (in the name of authenticity!). We would likely do well to learn to bend a knee and bow a head, for we have forgotten reverence having grown narcissistic with our own individual “spirituality.” We would do well to learn the practices of the faith. We would do well to discover the profound reality of the Eucharist. Did we forget about Holy Communion when we supplanted institutional religion? If so, shame on us; it is our loss.

Are we a communion of saints or maundering particles each pretending to be unrelated and self-determinant? Have we fled the spires of institutional religion only to enter tents of capricious spiritual ecstasies? Have we grown nomadic? Have we grown isolated? We speak of community, but by that do we mean facebook?

We may never return to the spiraled cathedrals, or at least we may not return for a while. But in either case, we must not lose our faith. We must no lose completely the practices that we seem to have pretended are merely part of institutional religion. If we forget habit, if we reject routine, if we lose sight of the Eucharist, if we deem tradition an archaic relic of the dusty past all in the name of authenticity, we may find ourselves in a dark room without faith and with only a few tweets proclaiming the value of contemporary authenticity. God forbid that happen.

Burgers and Faith

Watch commercials on television for ten minutes: we in America are addicted to immediacy (I’m reminded of the aesthete in Either/Or vol. 1). And we want faith the same way we want our burgers and fries: now! Fast food is cheap, and you usually get what you pay for. We want a spiritual experience or conversion or sign from God right this instant. It seems then we easily forget or perhaps ignore that faith is learned. To learn the faith, we are to walk in the footsteps of those who have walked before us; we are to listen to their words and begin to see their conceptual world of language. Faith is a habituation, and fluency takes time. Being addicted to immediacy, do we Americans have the patience and perseverance required for faith?